she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
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