I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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