apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
