will power is for people who don't want to get laid
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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