i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
