he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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