I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
