come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
