Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize