if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
