she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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