I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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