Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
