Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
