How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
