Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
