the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
