i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize