sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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