It's Friday. Sex?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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