May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
