I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
