I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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