Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
