with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
God I need to hump something, right now.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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