She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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