Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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