This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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