ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
