just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
