this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
