I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize