look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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