HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
only you would photoshop your dick
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize