I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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