You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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