I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
where am i from again
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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