my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
