as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
