remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
