Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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