I wanna bring you to show and tell
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
