She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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