You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
