I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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