That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
