i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I am one with the molecules
you're hired as official boob wrangler
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
