let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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