So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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