Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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