omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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