Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
