absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
