But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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