Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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