I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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