I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
nutella sex= disaster
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
